- What do you call a woman who does not practice birth control? Pregnant! - Bart and Brenda, a deaf and dumb couple, were married. That night in their honeymoon hotel Bart began talking to his wife in sign language.

He said, "Listen if you want to have sex just rub my d**k once.

If you don't want to have sex---rub it hundred times. - What's the difference between frustration and panic? Frustration is the first time you discover you can't do it the second time. Panic is the second time you discover you can't do it the first time. - What do you call a man with herpes, gonorrhea, syphillis and AIDS? An incurable romantic