PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. a couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend? Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?