A modern day cattle man has spent several days longer than expected crossing the Texan plains.

He's used up all his water. His horse has already died of thirst, and he's crawling on his knees through the sand, virtually convinced he's close to his last. To his surprise he spots an object sticking up through the brush several yards ahead of him. Mustering all his strength he works to uncover what appears to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a Genie, but this is no ordinary Genie she is wearing an IRS badge and a dull grey dress suit, and is armed with a calculator in her breast pocket and has a pencil tucked behind one ear. "Well Cowboy, you know how I work, you have three wishes" says the Genie. "I'm not falling for this" replies the Cowboy, "I'm not going to trust an IRS Genie" She smiles and goads him on: "What do you have to lose? You have no water, no transportation, and it looks like you're a gonna soon anyway" The Cowboy thinks for a minute and decides that the Genie is probably right. "Ok" he says "I wish I was in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink" - SSHHAAAAAAZZZZZAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM!!! ..

and the Cowboy finds himself in the middle of a beautful oasis the likes of which he has never seen, surrounded by platters of food, jugs of wine, beer, fruit juices, water and spirits.

"Ok Cowpoke, what is your second wish?" The Cowboy says "For my second wish I want to be rich beyond my wildest dreams" - SSHHAAAAAAZZZZAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!! ..

and his view is obscured by three stacks of treasure chests filled full of gold coins and precious gems.

"Right then Cow-puncher, you only have one wish left, better make it a good one!" The Cowboy thinks for a few minutes, and makes his last request "I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me" - SSHHAAAAAAZZZZZZZAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! in a puff of smoke he turns into a tampon . and the moral of our fable is - if the government offers you anything, there's always going to be a string attached.