A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. "I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies "O.

K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife "No, no boyfriend either." "Do you have a partner then?" "No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own.

" After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman. "You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black" "Well, " replies the girl.

"I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black.

" "Oh, I'm very sorry, " says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair." "Well yes, " the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?" "Oh, I'm sorry, " the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes.

" "Well yes, " continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice." At this the midwife again apologises collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum.

The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Well thank f**k for that !" "What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked. "Well, " says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that the little bastard was going to bark!"