Q 1. A GUY, IS HIKING ONE DAY IN THE SMOKEY MOUNTAINS, AND SEE'S A WOMEN DRESSED NICE , ON THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF..

ABOUT TO JUMP.....

CRYING....

HEY'HE SAY'S , IF YOUR GOING TO JUMP , HOW ABOUT GIVING ME A B**W ***, FIRST...

MY LIFE'S BEEN NOTHING BUT CRAP!!SAY'S THE WOMEN, ..

THEN SHE THINK'S FOR A SECOND SAY'S WHAT THE HELL..OKAY....

AFTER SHE IS DONE...

WOW!!!! THAT WAS GREAT!!!!.WHY ARE YOU DEPRESSED ANYWAY...THEN THE WOMEN REPLIES....MY FAMILY DISOWNED ME...FOUND OUT , I DRESSED LIKE A WOMEN, ,, AND ON TOP OF THAT , I FOUND OUT , I HAVE AIDS!!!!!.

CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER!!!!! Q2.

JUST BEFORE CHRISTMAS, SANTA CLAUS GET'S A SUPRISE VISIT FROM THE FEDERAL AVAITION ADMINISTRATION....

THE EXAMINER WALKS SLOWLY AROUND HIS SLED....

LOOKING AT EACH OF THE REINDEERS AND HARNESSES....AND THE RUNNERS...AND THE SLED'S BODY.. THEN HE WEIGH'S SANTA AND PERFORMS A BALANCE CALCULATION TO DETERMINE THE SLED'S PAYLOAD... 'OKAY. EVERYTHING CHECK'S OUT. HE SAY'S WHILE STEPPING INTO THE SLEIGH. "BUT YOU, VE STILL GOT PASS THE TEST FLIGHT.

!!! SAINT' NICK JUMPS IN....THEN NOTICES THE FAA EXAMINER HAS A SHOT GUN SITTING ACROSS HIS LAP..

"WHAT'S THAT GULP'S!!!SANTA.... TECHNICALLY, I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO TELL YOU THIS, ,, WINK'S THE EXAMINER....BUT YOU'RE GOING TO LOOSE AN ENGINE ON TAKE OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!