An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her Father cussed her. "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?" The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff...

Dad...

I became a prostitute..." "Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family." "OK, Dad-- as ye wish.

I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a 5 million savings certificate.

For my little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club...............

takes a breath...........

and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and... ...

" "Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....

a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff." "Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl!I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug."