A judge is relieved that the most stressful murder trial of his entire career was finally over.

Celebrating with a wee snifter seemed like a good idea until 5 hours later he staggers out the bar and vomits all over himself.

Even in his befuddled state he knows his wife will not be very happy, so he decides to fabricate a story.

He spends an hour or two sobering up then makes his way home, reeking of whisky and stale vomit. His wife is horrified at the state of him and asks what happens. "Well Honey, that trial finished today so i went for a drink with the lads, I only had a couple when this guy, drunk as monkey staggered up to me and promptly spewed up over me" This seemed to satisfy her, and the next day all appeared normal. At dinner that evening he tried to build strength into his web of deceit and says to his wife "remember that guy who vomited on me yesterday? Well he appeared in front of me on a Drunk & Disorderly charge..so, cos he ruined my suit jacket, i gave him 3 months.

"Huh" said his wife "you should have given him six months!" "Why is that love?", the judge enquired...

"Well" she said "somehow he mamaged to crap in your pants too...

"